The End of Sex How Hookup Culture Is Leaving a Generation Unhappy Sexually Unfulfilled and Confused About Intimacy (Audible Audio Edition) Donna Freitas Romy Nordlinger Audible Studios Books
Download As PDF : The End of Sex How Hookup Culture Is Leaving a Generation Unhappy Sexually Unfulfilled and Confused About Intimacy (Audible Audio Edition) Donna Freitas Romy Nordlinger Audible Studios Books
Hookup culture dominates the lives of college students today. Most students spend hours agonizing over their hopes for Friday night and, later, dissecting the evenings' successes or failures, often wishing that the social contract of the hookup would allow them to ask for more out of sexual intimacy. The pressure to participate comes from all directions - from peers, the media, and even parents. But how do these expectations affect students themselves? And why aren't parents and universities helping students make better-informed decisions about sex and relationships?
In The End of Sex, Donna Freitas draws on her own extensive research to reveal what young men and women really want when it comes to sex and romance. Surveying thousands of college students and conducting extensive one-on-one interviews at religious, secular public, and secular private schools, Freitas discovered that many students - men and women alike - are deeply unhappy with hookup culture. Meaningless hookups have led them to associate sexuality with ambivalence, boredom, isolation, and loneliness, yet they tend to accept hooking up as an unavoidable part of college life. Freitas argues that, until students realize that there are many avenues that lead to sex and long-term relationships, the vast majority will continue to miss out on the romance, intimacy, and satisfying sex they deserve.
An honest, sympathetic portrait of the challenges of young adulthood, The End of Sex will strike a chord with undergraduates, parents, and faculty members who feel that students deserve more than an endless cycle of boozy one night stands. Freitas offers a refreshing take on this charged topic - and a solution that depends not on premarital abstinence or unfettered sexuality, but rather a healthy path between the two.
The End of Sex How Hookup Culture Is Leaving a Generation Unhappy Sexually Unfulfilled and Confused About Intimacy (Audible Audio Edition) Donna Freitas Romy Nordlinger Audible Studios Books
This is a terrific book for high school and college students - and their parents and school teachers/administrators. Freitas lets students speak for themselves about the emptiness and personal costs of hooking up and about how many students feel pressured to hook up but want a deeper relationship, which seems beyond their grasp. Freitas doesn't present any easy answers...calling instead for emotional maturity and responsible decision-making. Abstinence doesn't work, either - but Freitas leaves the door open for a personal choice of abstinence on a temporary basis or even until marriage. Don't look for moralizing here, or black and white attitudes. Hooking up demeans both sexes, and many in both sexes want more fulfilling relationships. To me, the best part of this book is the support it gives to students who are uneasy with hooking up - and also the clarion call for healthier alternatives to be presented at schools and on campuses. Students who are trying to mature with respect for themselves and for others may need a hand to help them through the pressures of the hook-up generation.Product details
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The End of Sex How Hookup Culture Is Leaving a Generation Unhappy Sexually Unfulfilled and Confused About Intimacy (Audible Audio Edition) Donna Freitas Romy Nordlinger Audible Studios Books Reviews
I am going to be a first year student at college in a few weeks, and this book opened my eyes on what I kind of already knew. But the way the information is presented is thought provoking and interesting. Coming from a college students view this is a mandatory read...
This book is smart, thorough, and wise. Such a worthwhile read for anyone involved in this lives of college students.
I find the text essential in answering the concept of liberty, liberation and then more liberty in campuses where are we heading? A conservative person would find a lot of material to use to argue against the "no-control" and "no-discipline" approaches that are taking place in schools across the western world. A liberal person might be interested in seeing where the road of "just do it" takes to eventually. Many of the one-on-one examples the author uses are very well needed to support her arguments.
My only issue against the book is that I felt the samples are short or shy of one major culture that enforces complete abstinence -- Islam. The Muslim world enforces a 100% rule that sex, or anything related to sex between a man and a woman is "prohibited" before marriage. Did the author consider what the "end of the road" is like in such cultures when it comes to the social fabric? It would have been complementary to consider Islam which is at the other end of the spectrum used in the text.
Perhaps it is because this is a subject I know a fair amount about, having written a book (Binge Campus Life in an Age of Disconnection and Excess) a decade ago that devoted some space to the twin topics of hooking up and sexual assault on campuses, but I was not surprised by this book's findings. That college students engage in frequent and often indiscriminate sex with peers they often barely know and then find the experience and the process unsatisfying is pretty much the same today as it was then. What is marginally different today, about which Donna Freitas surprisingly does not offer much analysis, is the sense of alarm about the campus sexual assault "crisis" and its link back to the hook-up culture. How institutions are supposed to deal with the significant number of sexual assault cases in which young women find themselves in situations that start out as consensual but somewhere, somehow morph into non-consensual events and what is a fair way to adjudicate them are topics she doesn't really tackle; yet they cry out for solutions. Her ultimate advice--that we as a society work to discourage the hook-up culture and return to a more traditional dating and courtship model--makes a lot of sense, but how we get there from here is no less elusive.
The book seems to provide what appears to be the present means by which college students relate to each other socially, through hookups & sex through alcohol stimulus, the author ends the book abruptly suggesting that dating is a better choice, including some undefined safe sex practices which she fails in describing.
My experience in this matter was as a college grad 50 years ago. I exclusively dated, enjoyed every moment the experiences. Always made sure to select to take my dates to places that they would enjoy. At the same time we got to know each other through conversation. I never "hookedup". or had sex through alcohol. It's a shame that our present colture, through varous e ntertainment medias have derated dating and glorify such unsef practices. The author should have expanded dating as a the alternative.
Although as a devout Catholic I disagree with some of Freitas' assumptions & prescriptions, her book is a must read for anyone trying to help young people to get out of the hook-up culture, which is truly horrifying. The book is very useful for getting a sense of what's actually going on, what many kids think about what's going on, and how trapped many feel. Also fascinating was the chapter that spoke of the assignment at BC to "go on a date" and the requirements. Highly recommended for all teachers of high schoolers, parents, etc.
Well written and documented. I had no idea that college sex had become so mechanical and dry. But building an alternative to the hook up culture means providing something that is at least equal if not better. Without alcohol or drugs. That's going to be tough considering how strong the sex module is in most male brains, plus the traditional draw of drugs and alcohol
I think the solution will have to come from the women. They have to start setting the rules. Don't go to the theme parties. Have the parties at their place under their rules.
This is a terrific book for high school and college students - and their parents and school teachers/administrators. Freitas lets students speak for themselves about the emptiness and personal costs of hooking up and about how many students feel pressured to hook up but want a deeper relationship, which seems beyond their grasp. Freitas doesn't present any easy answers...calling instead for emotional maturity and responsible decision-making. Abstinence doesn't work, either - but Freitas leaves the door open for a personal choice of abstinence on a temporary basis or even until marriage. Don't look for moralizing here, or black and white attitudes. Hooking up demeans both sexes, and many in both sexes want more fulfilling relationships. To me, the best part of this book is the support it gives to students who are uneasy with hooking up - and also the clarion call for healthier alternatives to be presented at schools and on campuses. Students who are trying to mature with respect for themselves and for others may need a hand to help them through the pressures of the hook-up generation.
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